Unity Consciousness & Bioneuroemoción®
It is our responsibility to decide to continue living a situation or to avoid it. Communication will be the most effective, the less dependent on the behavior of third parties, the result we intend.
We will make the request without judging the other, only expressing our need.
Instead of saying “you are a despot”, we will say “I feel bad when you tell me to do these tasks that way”.
We do not demand a change, instead we communicate a state. Although sometimes it does not seem so, this way of expressing ourselves has more power to influence, since it does not activate the listener’s psychic defenses by not referring to any judgment.
On the other hand, effective emotional communication is one that leaves little to the imagination.
Being descriptive and concrete we are favoring the understanding and creating an effective interaction. Instead of saying “talk to me better” or “talk to me with respect” we will specify “talk to me with a lower tone”.
What “good” or “respect” means for us in a situation does not have to coincide with what it means for our interlocutor at that moment.
The fact that we feel that someone is disrespectful is a judgment that distances us from empathy and understanding and that, instead of helping us to resolve the conflict, reinforce it. Communication, in addition to an action, is a habit and, as such, can be trained and evolved.
At first, we take charge of the emotional situation of the whole world. It becomes a stage full of guilt and ego. We turn our needs into the other.
We give to be able to demand next. We believe ourselves responsible for the feelings of others and, consequently, we make others responsible for our feelings.
It is the stage in which we can most perceive a dual vision of the world. Even though we supposedly “sacrifice” ourselves for the other, it is the most selfish stage. Actually, what we do for the other – without wanting to do it – sooner or later will turn into resentment with phrases like “with everything you owe me …”, “I gave you my best years …”.
When we go from duality to unity, emotional expression changes. In that moment, we begin to take responsibility for our emotions and stop feeling guilty about the emotions of others. Shame or guilt cease to be the engines of our actions and we begin to act with responsibility and freedom.
The love, respect and emotional coherence of our own will inevitably be reflected in the relationships we maintain with others.